旺得福Wonderful Day

      我觉得，有时候不得不相信缘分。比如说我与古龙，今天9月21日，正是古龙先生的祭日，而我又正是在今天，重拾起了先生的小说。先生的文笔精炼，却总有点睛之妙；直白，却似有无穷奥意。

      回归正体，之所以要写下这篇日志，是因为在某一个时刻做某一件事情时——之所以连用两个某，并非因为想隐瞒什么，而是确实记不住当时在干什么了，也许是在看先生的小说吧——突然想明白了昨天的疑惑，顿悟了。

      因为我还不习惯选择，还舍不得放弃，还想享有一切。

      呵呵，看来我是六祖慧能的顿悟派的。

 

    

P.S.今天北京下起了绵绵细雨，独自撑伞走在雨中，不禁想起了那个时候，那把雨伞，还有伞下的人。

      当我意识到已经开学时，短暂的第一周已经过去了。完全没有开学的感觉，神经还停留在放假的状态。一天要睡10个小时才够，胃口比高三时还好，天啊~~~

      这学期给人的感觉就是一个字，闲。虽说算上商英，总共都有23学分，但是总觉得课程很松散，很休闲。可能是因为有几门课还没开始上的原因吧。我不想处在这种无所事事的状态下，我想给自己多找点事情做。我希望我的space一个月、两个月甚至一学期更新一次，只因这样能说明我过得很充实。开学到现在，不如意的事一件接一件，我虽是“新生”，却没有新生的兴奋与激动，却没有新生的那种渴望，却没有新生的那份活力。我也会努力尝试融入不同的群体，不管是以前还是现在。虽然也有欢笑，但是找不到自己的那份归属感，这样真的很累。我感觉这样不是在为了自己在活，我感觉我不是我自己，而是在扮演着我自己。或许你说的对，我太在意周围人的感受了。但是有什么办法呢？我很累```

      为什么事情不能那样自然而然，为什么总要我去主动。我厌倦了grin and bear it的无奈，但我还是很难适应事事都aggressive的态度。

      很闲，但是很累。

      我想我还是没有那份自信与洒脱去享受这难得的闲暇，反而被闲暇绑住，自由得很拘束。

      但愿从此以后能够忙起来，但愿我能更加从容地主动，但愿事事都能顺利地发展。

      

to 3m:

    here is a story i'd like to share with u.please read it with patience.

 

 

Eric and Amy had known each other since childhood. They’d lived on the same street and played childhood games together. Then they’d drifted apart as their interests developed in various ways. Eric started gymnastics in high school and was winning many competitions. His other love was playing the guitar. Amy played soccer every fall in school. She also practiced piano.

During the summer after graduating high school, they’d run into each other at a party. It was like seeing each other for the first time. Eric liked the way Amy smiled. She laughed easily and was fun to be around. Amy fell attracted to Eric’s quiet strength. He didn’t brag the way a lot of athletes did. She felt comfortable being around him.

In college, they began to see each other more often. They went out on dates with their other friends. After a few months they realized their feelings were growing stronger. Amy spoke to her mother about it. She told her, “I really enjoy being with Eric, but I’m worried about becoming to physical with him. We already started kissing last time. It felt good, but I don’t want to end up doing something stupid like Karen.” Her mother nodded, thinking of some girls her daughter knew. Karen had lost her boyfriend and estranged her parents after she got sexually involved with the boy. “I want to go to become a teacher, have a career and I want to protect our relationship.”

Her mother said, “Your Dad and I were thinking about your relationship with Eric and decided to wait to see what you were thinking about. We’re glad you’re showing you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. We like Eric, too, and don’t want to see your two get hurt. Why don’t you tell Eric about your concerns about getting physical? Why not discuss your limits together?”

Amy decided to talk to Eric their next time out together. As she expressed her concerns, Eric interrupted her, “Amy, I’ve been thinking the same thing. Last week when we were kissing, I felt myself getting aroused. That’s why I stopped and told myself, ‘Whoa, boy, you better slow things down. ’”

They still had to be careful, of course, not be alone with each other too much. They made time for their other friends and interests. They did not go to parties where alcohol or drugs were going to be used. Eric said he thought it was pathetic that so many students think they need to get drunk to have a good time. “I get high just seeing Amy for a few minutes. Who needs beer?” he thought.

Also, they decided to avoid going to R-rated movies. Seeing sexually explicit movies was the last thing they need. It was a sacrifice because there were some interesting movies they would have liked to see, but they concluded that their relationship was more important.

Sometimes, they would drive a hospital on Saturday mornings. It felt good to help people who were so sick and had so many difficulties. Amy always said, “It sure makes our own problems look a lot smaller.” Also, she could see a side of Eric that she didn’t see when they dated, his serving attitude and unselfish heart. They seemed to have more fun when they were helping others than when they went out on dates.

Amy had a curfew on the weekends when they saw each other, and called her parents when they were going to be late. Sometimes it was hard to end their times together, but it gave them both a sense of security.

More and more, Eric felt he was dealing with a very valuable young woman. Some of Eric’s teammates on the gymnastic team were heckling him about whether or not he’d sex with Amy, but he told them to lay off, and they left him alone after that. Marianne, one of Amy’s best friends, told her, “I really envy your relationship with Eric. It seems almost everyone else is going to parties, getting drunk, and getting physically involved but they don’t seem happy to me. I wish I had someone like Eric, someone who would value me as a person and treat me with respect.”

It was a paradox. Eric and Amy were sacrificing physical love for now, but it didn’t feel like a big sacrifice (usually). They were limiting their freedom to do certain things, but they felt very free. In fact, they felt freer than many of their classmates who seemed to have almost no limits on what they did with the opposite sex. Even though, it wasn’t common for adolescents to admit it, both of them felt grateful to also have parents who cared about him, who gave them guidance on how not to get hurt and how to let a relationship grow in a positive way.

Once, Eric’s father had told him, “Don’t worry about getting everything you want in a short run. Remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. Your mother and I trust you’ll both do the right thing.”

“You’re right, Dad. We will. I promise.”

      嘉禾一品吃过晚饭，回家的路上3m来了通电话。

      当然，还是老问题。

      当然，我也一如既往的劝他。

      作为一个局外人，我认为问题很简单。很多烦恼，很多困惑，其实都是子虚乌有的。用个专业的词，就叫做“心魔”。两个人都是好好的，但是总是莫名地担心，莫名地恐惧。感情这东西，真是件麻烦的事，谁遇到了都纠缠不清。三妹如此，阿军如此……因为害怕看到花儿的凋零，所以宁愿在花开甚至是含苞待放之时蒙上双眼。这就是当局者迷吧。

     

      回过头来，其实我用来劝3M的话又何尝不适用于我自己呢？顺其自然，呵呵。

 

      恩，18号就开学了，5号到现在，大体上说还算是不错的。虽然中间有点小小的曲折，再加上刚从教务拿的书还没捧热就被偷了，但是其他的事都还算顺利。换寝室看来是必然的了，新寝室的几位同学应该说都不难相处。至于换宿舍到光华那边，能做的我都做了，剩下的就只有耐心地等消息了。问题总是有的，解决的方法也总是有的，未来还有些困难需要克服，我相信我一定能找到方法的。开学过后，电脑就得少用点了。要为托佛、雅思做准备了，日语若是能选上的话也要好好学。高数和商英估计会占很多时间。还要加入自行车协会，学游泳，减肥，练肺活量。恩，会忙起来的，会充实起来的。

      最后，听到你大学刚开始的生活很快乐，听到你为自己的工作业绩而高兴时，我也打心底的开心，并且由衷地为你祝福！Happy every day!

                          

     

      探路性质的旅行——798。

      早晨7点过，波娃儿的电话闹醒了熟睡中我。草草吃过早饭，就向着传说中的艺术圣地798进发了。南门赶302路，到亮马桥过天桥换乘402（405）到大山子南站下车，就到798了，时间在9点40左右。

      联系上了在那里工作的一个朋友后，我和波娃儿就开始乱逛了。

      尤伦斯当代艺术展览中心？貌似是这个名字。我们满怀希望地跑去，结果一头撞在了墙上，10点开门。其实当时完全可以等一下的，因为时间已经是9点50+了，但是我们还是决定出去转转。到了一个挺有欧洲小镇感觉的咖啡厅，晒着早晨的暖阳，欣赏着周围宁静的景色，还真有点惬意。不过我犯了个傻，在楼梯拐角处，放着各式各样的书，大部分都是长篇的小说，还有就是介绍艺术什么的，最搞笑的是居然有N本50年代的数学通报，我东翻西翻，突然眼前一亮，一本唐老鸭漫画书！我大概看了下，英文的,应该勉强能看懂吧，于是想也没多想，拿上书就走了。我回到位子上，坐下来兴致勃勃地准备欣赏迪士尼的大作，可是翻开一看，傻眼了，虽然也都是字母，但是一个也看不懂啊，我的神啊，法语！。。。。。。（也许是葡萄牙语，或者德语？`````）

     坐了没多久，我们就开始逛尤伦斯。说老实话，艺术这东西真与我没多大缘分，至少在798里的那种“现当代艺术”是这样的。看不懂，完全不懂。不仅尤伯斯，吃过午饭后逛的那些展厅，大都让我云里雾里的，有些甚至让我很反感。有些展厅很大，但是却给人一种特别压抑的感觉。总的来说，我不是很喜欢里面的“艺术”，但是比较喜欢整个798工厂的那种宁静舒缓的气氛。

      中午承蒙唏嘘同学招待，吃了顿味道听不错的午饭，还有就是那特制水果拼盘，呵呵。休息了一小会儿，又继续转。

      大约两点过，回到了中午吃饭的地方，喝点冰红茶，休息休息。波娃儿实在坚持不住，倒下来睡了，于是我就在那里耍了两小时的空竹和“得儿”，4点过的样子我们离开了798 。在这里再次感谢唏嘘同学的周到款待。

 

      离开798后，到秀水走马观花了一下，和想象中的完全不一样。赶810路，北师下坐出租，北医三院下永和大王吃过晚饭，“台湾卤肉饭”，331路回北大。这次出行最最大的教训就是，以后无论到哪里，都要把框架眼睛带上。nnd去了一个垃圾展厅后，眼睛一直不爽，又不能取隐形，又要忍受眼睛的刺痛，我靠！

      最后，再次鄙视一下大城市的旅游，交通太费时间了。OK。下次去探路性质地爬长城！

      提早了差不多两个星期来，说是为了办转系的手续，其实更主要的是因为人都走光了，留下来也没意思了。

      不知道从哪里听说的，本来以为转系手续会很麻烦，没想到1个小时左右就over了，光华楼-红四楼-28楼-30楼-理科楼南侧-理科楼-光华楼-红四楼-办公楼，转了一转，所有的事情就解决了。途中还碰巧遇到了2个同学，一个是和我同转光华的邢..，还有一个是我们院的，以前老碰见她，但不晓得她是谁。原来她就是王yining，久仰大名了，转经院的大牛。想当初自己还在经院和光华之间徘徊过呢，最后看在马克思老人家的份上，只好忍痛放弃经院，哎，手心手背都是肉啊```貌似没用对熟语？习惯就对了```

      今天5天了，虽然也基本是大门不出，但是感觉也算不上宅，毕竟打电脑的时间少了，看书的时间多了。日语好难了，假名2天我才背了20个，而且相当相当不熟悉，听到了要反应老半天才知道是什么。不过这样也好，有点挑战才有意思。虚岁20也不大嘛，还是能勉强记那么一点东西的。

      废话差不多了，言归正传。

      我已经决定了，一年一个台阶，一步一步向前。这学期总的来说，是个重新适应的缓冲期，从理科到偏文科的缓冲，从忙碌到闲暇再到忙碌的缓冲，从忙于社团到专心学习再到二者平衡的缓冲，以及从胡思乱想到专心致志的缓冲。所以，本学期，我为自己订了以下几大目标：

      一、身体第一

           放了一个暑假，明显地感觉到胖了，胖了很多，肚子上的肥肉越来越厚，坐着时上面的夹缝越来越深。所以，第一目标，就是把肥肉练下去，把健康练出来。像我贱儿章越那样的肌肉就不敢奢望了，但是把肥肉减掉还是大有希望的。为此，我要适当控制饮食，尽量少吃零食（这也为我的旅行基金作出了贡献），然后多多运动，坚持锻炼。

      二、好好学习

           这个没什么好说的。好的成绩是基础。还有就是要在英语very good的基础上把日语学好。

      三、维持并发展人际关系

           鉴于我现在的特殊情况，宿舍也搬不动。可能要融入新的圈子会不是那么自然，不过我相信这只是小问题。社团活动可以多参与点，因为这学期比较清闲。至于维持嘛，我自己的内心我清楚，他人的嘛，路遥知马力，日久见人心，时间长了，是真是假自然就晓得了，所谓强扭的瓜不甜，有些东西是勉强不来的，所以我还是做好我自己应该做的，活的洒脱一点。

      四、旅行基金

           除了名字，其他的都是secret。我明白就OK了。嘿嘿~~~

 

OK，就这样了。还有，该不该祈祷天气凉快点呢？嗯```凉快了舒服是舒服，但是吃不了苦啦？热起来苦是苦，但是人难受啊，呼呼，小小的矛盾了一下，还是那句老话，顺其自然吧^^